I look back. I try to figure out what happened. It was just different. What I thought was real, was not real to begin with. I was too trusting. I was the nice guy... and shit happens. Even the good guys get burned.
I tried keeping myself busy. It worked in a way. I had a lot to do at work and it sure helped me a lot. There are things we can't have and it's usually the thing we want the most. Unfair right?
The sad part of all this is that there will be questions that will remain unanswered forever. That's how life is. We make choices. Some are right and some are wrong. And it's the choices in life that define who we are.
I was googling comics and I bumped into Jeph Loeb's "Fallen Son: The Death of Captain America". It deals with the 5 stages of grief.
Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.
I have come to accept that this is how it should be. This is how it has to go on from here on end. This is how the cookie crumbles...
What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.
To cap off the month of May. Here's something I got...
"If it happens, it damn happens. If it wasn't meant, it certainly doesn't. Don't push through, just let go. Dare not mock yourself chasing and caressing for someone who didn't even care to understand you. It sucks ain't it? But it sucks a lot more if you don't give up. Love, value, and care for yourself because if you won't, nobody would. Sometimes, love is unfair, the more you sacrifice, the more you are hurt. And when you feel you gave your best, it all seems not enough until such time the only right thing to do is to let go..."
Here's to June and the rest of 2009!